(read the article or invite you to listen to the podcast version for a heartfelt emotional read through)
12 days from now I was supposed to fly to Costa Rica and sit in my 2nd ceremony with Grandmother Ayahuasca, the psychedelic brew of deep awakening.
Knowing my experience is on hold, it’s almost as if Pachamama has brought the medicine to me. To all of us, actually.
After all, you don’t need to drink a DMT tea to have a psychedelic experience… And this reality we are living in right now is pretty much one big plant ceremony if you ask me.
In this season of my life (much like many of us) I am inside: In the physical sense, and in the emotional sense as well: I am in hibernation, spending time indoors, and walking on our property in solitude. I am in deep reflection, prayer, meditation and some times I am channeling so quickly I end up writing four pages in my journal without a pause.
I am HERE. In this moment. And surrendering to it and allowing it to teach me.
It is here to teach all of us.
And by ALLOWING, rather than resisting, I can be calm.
Those who are not allowing right now, are the ones who are in pain and my heart breaks for them.... the lesson is right in front of them, so close to grab. But much like plant ceremony, when we resist bringing light to the dark (because we don't want to see it) we only experience more pain.
This blog post is my attempt to shine some light for you and share my perspective on the collective healing we are experiencing right now.
There is a darkness coming out through the energy of our society. Fear, Worry, Chaos, Poverty, Addiction, News obsessions, and the wounds of overwhelm. Do you feel it?
I do. I feel it from others who are carrying the burden of that dark energy. And I see the common thread.
The stressed, the overwhelmed, the angry, and the fearful all have one thing in common in their energy: They are all focused on trying to change what is, rather than surrendering and bearing witness to what is.
"But it's hard. It's hard, Lauren. You do not get it."
Sister, I get it.
I am just not subscribing to it.
"Surrender anyway," is my answer.
Whatever your circumstances, you have that choice.
And the truth is that path of surrender is a hell of lot easier than the path of fighting this thing the entire time. You must be so exhausted, my darling.
Put down your protective weapons, take a break. Just breathe. Put your hands on your heart, close your eyes for a minute and just take a minute to feel the beautiful miracle of being ALIVE.
Love is available to you in this moment. Safety is available to you in this moment.
This experience is HERE. But that doesn't mean you need to subscribe to the fear, the anger or the pain that is here with it.
And this experience is here for a reason. and FOR you.
For all of us.
For me: I am choosing to serve this time and allowing this time to serve me. I am working on long term business projects that I feel excited about, and reading my big shelf of books that I haven’t prioritized because my “schedule was too busy.” I am taking a lot of baths and watching shows with Matt that we've been putting off for months. It feels good.
Even when it feels bad, it can still feel good, knowing that what is coming is in fact going.
Yes there are days where I am tired, sad, or heavy. There are days where I cry, days where I feel weak and days where my body feels almost as if it is dying. Again... much like a plant ceremony, not all of it is easy. It's called inner WORK for a reason.
On those days when things feel harder, I allow what is. I honor my rest, hibernate in my bedroom and let my body heal from all the empathetic energy it has been carrying.
NO judgement, I allow what is.
And sure I am not perfect.... but I am always practicing the art of allowing.
....and the art of protecting.
Activities like going to the grocery store or running to Target for dog food can feel dark and heavy. The thought of walking into the post office feels unnerving: Just thinking about being surrounded by all the energy of pain and stress and fear..... if I am not careful, I can slowly feel those emotions come in with thought alone.
… but this is teaching me how to become a master in protecting my energetic boundaries and honoring my gifts. This is teaching me how one thought can drastically change how we feel in our bodies.
This is showing me now more than ever, that learning to master my mind is the most powerful study I can devote my life to.
Because a woman who is not in control of her mind is not in control of her life.
In many ways, this darkness is one big shamanic teaching and I am grateful for what it is offering me.
"You're grateful Lauren? How on earth can you feel grateful?"
Feeling grateful during the most difficult times is hard, but it is also incredibly possible for each and every one of us.
Yes, not all of this experience is beautiful. Yes, much of it is hard. And for many, many people, things are hard right now: Financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Triggers are coming up and lower frequencies of emotion are rising. And for those who are not as awake or as conscious, this is definitely a shakening to awakening.
Yes, my dear. This is a wakeup.
The dark energies are here because they are inviting you to RELEASE them.
Fear, worry, stress, anger: RELEASE is available to you.
If you choose it.
This is a chance to release even the smallest part of your ego to give yourself permission to live in FREEDOM again.
"But Lauren, I feel so far from freedom now more than ever before."
Yes.. that is the point. The experience of this slavery to negative thoughts and lower energetic frequency is stronger NOW because this is the MAGIC dark. This is the moment right at the heroines journey where you have a chance to let go once and for all of the old pattern you have been holding onto.
Are you ready to let go?
This darkness is giving you the chance to truly see the pain you have been caring so you can step into the light.
And if you allow yourself to feel free in this moment right now, the greater chance of living a freedom filled life when this is done.
"But, Lauren, you don't get it."
Yes. I get it. I am just not subscribing to it. I invite you to unsubscribe as well.
Let the medicine of this experience teach you.
Many are at home feeling antsy, disconnected, and in deep pain from lack of connection. Many want to escape whatever this experience is and go back to the way things used to be.
And if you are one of these humans, I invite you to ask yourself: “In what other areas of life to do I constantly try to escape reality?”
"But Lauren, I am just extroverted and feel lonely."
I get how being an extrovert can make these times hard, but that label we choose to carry is a mask for a deeper wound: “I am afraid to be alone with myself to see myself.”
For what will you see?
"But Lauren I am scared.. financially I am struggling and with my children home, things are so hard. I am unraveling."
That, my darling, is your medicine. Allow the unravel. You are safe to unravel.
ALL of this, is the control body dying... and it feels hard, and scary and uncomfortable.. but fighting it is harder than allowing it to be.
The wound is where the light comes in. And the control wound is deep, but there is SO much light available to you in this lesson of giving up control.
And if you are one of those humans trying to control what is going on, freaking out about your financial reality, obsessing over the news media and hoping things would be different right now, it’s time to heal:
“In what other areas of my life am I constantly trying to control?”
"In what other areas do I allow what other people are saying and doing to dictate how I feel?"
"In what ways am I addicted to my victimhood and the pattern of being in pain?"
And if you are wishing things would "go back to normal...."
Wanting things to go back to the way they were is a waste of time.
Nothing will ever go back to the way it used to be.
And you would entirely be missing the point.
Sister, hear me when I share: This is medicine right now.
This is teaching you something.
This is here in your life for a reason.
And if you just keep trying to run from it, you’ll be missing the entire point.
The pain you feel because you can’t control this, the stress you are experiencing because you are focused on your fear. The worry you have for what may happen in your future: This is amplified energy that already exists within you. And it is here to give you a chance to release it.
Yes, this situation is not what is creating pain... This situation is only shedding light to the pain within you that has been there for lifetimes.
This is a spiritual ceremony right now. This is MEDICINE. And you can take the medicine, or you can fight it. But either way it is going to happen.
In this spiritual, plant-medicine-like-ceremony that is life right now, some people will surrender, and some will totally miss the point of all of this.
Those that surrender will release their ego, kill a layer of their control-body and be reborn a little lighter, and forever changed.
And their life will never be the same after this (for the better) BECAUSE they surrendered.
They will abandon the ego a bit more, control a little bit less, release a layer of fear addiction and come out the other side of this more awake, more enlightened and changed for the better.
Others, will remain victim to the wounds and the pain they have been carrying for their entire life. This experience will end and months later or even days later something will happen that will only trigger these emotions and fears all over again.
They will not have learned, so the lesson will continue to show up.
Over. And Over. Until they learn.
And if you are reading this saying, “Well Lauren, THIS experience is different… This isn’t time addicted to victimhood or pain or anything… this is just a very unique experience.”
I invite you to think differently.
This experience is not what is creating your negative emotion. Rather, this experience is shedding light to the negative emotion that you have been burdened with your entire life.
Are you ready to let this energy go?
Because if you keep focusing on the dark, you’ll miss the entire medicine of this experience.
There is a LESSON here.
And if you haven’t seen it yet, maybe it’s time to start looking.
Lauren Eliz Love
P.S. If this resonated with you, woke you up, spoke to your soul or awakened you in some way, please share this in some form on social media or with your friends. You can tag me on instagram @laurenoflove - We need to help wake people up.
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