EP 230: What Actually Stops Us From Creating Success

lauren of love podcast Jul 16, 2021


Are you ready to dive into a dialogue about creating success? 

  Creating success is a deep study. We are continuously deepening our study with many energies in our life including our relationships with love, wealth, success, freedom, happiness, etc. It is really important as we cultivate and master a really clear, direct, energetic channel to what we want, that we learn how to do that well! 

  Many of us, when healing relationships with these energies, have a self-bullying voice that may represent our mothers or fathers, or maybe a version of ourselves that feels really low vibration. Whatever form this voice takes, it is plaguing us with these thoughts of “you can’t create success” and “nobody’s going to buy your stuff anyway” and “who are you to do that”. Building a strong, deep relationship with success, channeling it and receiving it, and calling it into your life is not just about being clear in your relationship with that energy, but also navigating what that voice is, where it comes from and how it is showing up, what it is saying and learning how to transmute that energy as quickly as possible. 

  Today we are diving into conversation, an open prayer, an open opportunity to really master our knowledge of this thing we really want in our lives. All of us want success, but in order to call that in we need to understand it, we need to be in right relationship with it, and we need to have effective strategies for calling it in. 

  What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of success? For me, instantly, that voice comes up and I think “hard”. 

  Some of us are really in a good place of programming and the first things that come up are “bliss”, “joy”, “celebration”, “happiness”.  Anybody who focuses their energy on the positive in their response, that person is cultivating. That person is spending time focusing on being in good relationship with success, focusing on repairing her wounds around success, and focusing on looking at the resistance. Give yourself permission today to explore the perspective that success can actually be something very beautiful, and sacred, and totally in alignment with you; It doesn't have to hinder, or derail, or stop you or hold you back. It is safe to create success. 


What stops us from creating success? 

  It is important for us to be aware of and understand where we ourselves are not being the clearest energetic channel for success. If we're talking about manifestation in the general sense, we are like a magnet. Our bodies are so full of energy and powerful, potent frequencies. What we are calibrating our body at shows up in our physical world, it translates into physical reality. When we are internally going through turmoil, suffering, hardship, lack of self love, not paying attention to your worth, not cultivating your confidence, you're going to create an external reality that mirrors this. When you are in a process of study, working on improving that relationship with yourself, on being safe in what your goals and dreams are, and on rewriting your limitations, your vibrations start to expand and you become this magnet that attracts what it is that you're fully calling into your life. So we need to look at and be aware of where our vibration is off. 

  This is why dialogues discussing this shadowy perspective of "I'm so blocked” or “this block is coming up”, is so important. We are so aware of all of our blocks; yet at the same time we’re not making movement because we’re not aware of what to do with those blocks. On a deeper level a lot of us are telling ourselves stories that we have blocks when we actually are not blocked. This concept of a block is something that's stopping you; that in itself can create separation and can feel really hard to navigate in reality because something is stopping you. You know it's you, but it's something that's also kind of separate from you and you're not sure what to do about it or how to navigate it. 

  We should be aware of the principals and concepts that are thematic stops to our success. The first thematic stop that we experience when trying to create success for ourselves is we don't have a clear vision and so therefore we dont move forward. Many of us have felt this before where we are trying to create success and we don't really know the fullest vision of what our brand is, or what our business model will look like, or what we are offering. We get in this place of being frozen and say “I’m not going to take any steps forward until I know specifically or exactly what this vision looks like”. When you are doing that, when spirit is giving you a desire and calling to go create something in the world, and at the same time you’re going back to spirit and saying “No, Bitch. I am not going to move. I am not going to take any action until you show me the steps and the evidence so I can feel safe to move forward”...it doesn't work that way. If we tell ourselves we need to have this perfect vision and have all the pieces in place before we move forward we are inherently blocking our success. We are not being in movement with creation, and spirit, and source, we are being in reaction mode to her telling her I won’t show up fully until you show up fully first. The process of calling in success in a prayer where you and the universe are working together but you're both moving and both taking steps. So the minute you have this idea, this goal but you wait because you can’t see the full picture, you're doing yourself a disservice. The frequency and energy of success are always in movement, it is not an ultimate outcome, but rather something that ripples out and flows, and expands and evolcevs and reaches new planes. Success is an evolution. With that is this concept of I have to move, I have to take action, I have to show up and do some scary things, I have to show up and take steps toward something that I’m not really sure what it looks like yet. 

  If I look back at my business over the last year and a half, I had to do a lot of things that were super uncomfortable that required me to leap before I ever saw or understood where I was going. We all need to remember, anyone successful in the world, where they are now is not where they started...but they started. They didn’t have their journey perfectly mapped out, but they new some steps to take and they were able to show up with that sense of knowing and trust and movement.

  And so we can explore the emotional component of this and ask “Why do I do that”? Why are you somebody who doesn’t know how to trust your own judgement? Where is that story coming from? Who taught you to be someone who doesn’t trust their own intuition? What would life look like if you actually learned how to show up and trust your intuition and to let your desires lead you to the evolution of your success. We must ask ourselves, “Am I afraid to go after something because I am afraid it is going to fail” or “Am I afraid to give something my all, and have trust in it, and show up with it because I’ve done that before and gotten hurt”? We need to explore and rewrite these stories and tell ourselves I may have taken some steps in the past and quote on quote failed, but all those “failures” were a gift that have gotten me somewhere and expanded me in some way, and have shown me a new direction for my life. We need to have a new perspective, viewing those failures as a beautiful, necessary, loved and appreciated part of our journey, and further feeling safe in our relationship with failure. Same as when we are in a relationship with another person and are going to be in deep connection with them, and open our hearts to them, we have to also be in right relationship with heartbreak, and how to move heartbreak energy from our bodies, forgive ourselves for heartbreaks in the past, and show up open hearted to new relationships even though we have been heartbroken before. 

  How do we show up open hearted to success when we have been hurt in the past? How do we rewire and rewrite that our failure was a suffering? Pain is a part of living, suffering is a choice. When things get challenging or you're having doubts, are you going to choose to suffer, or are  you going to give that experience a different meaning and move through the pain to get to the other side quicker. A wounded relationship with failure causes us to be paranoid by it, or frozen in time by our fears of it that we are not moving toward what we want with the purest energetic frequency. All we’re thinking about is the worst thing that can happen. 

  For those of you who resonate with the issue of not moving forward or showing up fully because you don't have a clear vision, sometimes the clear vision is waiting for you but you’re not stepping into your sense of worthiness to receive that clear vision. Taking time to activate your worthiness, to do things that make you feel good about yourself, to make you feel confident, to incorporate that stuff into your lifestyle is really important for activating success. We must have these rituals and these practices because for many of us success is something that we want, but it does not feel safe to have. We are dreaming of achievement, recognition and validation, yet at the same time we also know this is not really the answer. If you’re driving toward success to feel significant, or validated or recognized, you may not be in the highest frequency in your relationship with success; that is not a loving energy. If you showed up in a partnership that way seeking validation, there is no love exchange. 

  If you need help incorporating these into your lifestyle, I am sharing all my success frequency rituals with you inside of the Sacred Success masterclass series and that is open for enrollment HERE

  It is important to be clear on what the word success means to you. How do you define success? How do you recognize it in your own life? What is the feeling in your body or how do you look as a successful person? Clarifying your vision of success will purify your relationship with success. Having a clear definition of success by your terms, that is where the expansion comes. We must rewrite the story that success means you will have to do things that are uncomfortable and that’s bad, uncomfortable can be a good feeling too. Uncomfortable can be that stretch to the unknown or the unfamiliar so we can get into a place where we love love the journey and the process, and we're celebrating ourselves every step of the way, and we have rituals for calling in the success, and we also have awareness of some of these old stories and take steps to rewrite them. So if you’ve been carrying a story that success requires you to sacrifice certain things that are important to you, it’s your time in this season of your life to rewrite that. 

  For the next 30 days, see what happens when you show up to be so super excited about your journey of business and working hard, but have sacred boundaries. Say, “I am going to show up, but I am going to block time for myself and I am going to watch what happens to my business, and to myself. I am going to go on that journey and I am going to see what I can rewrite”. 

  It is so important to remember, every single successful person that's creating anything magical in their life, they are working on themselves. I’m not talking about success as in money, but success as an embodiment or energetic frequency. Anyone that you admire that is really fucking succesful and crushing it, that person is doing the work on themelevs and it is not always comfortable, but they are regularly and routinely practicing the activities and rituals that make them feel success. They are consistently showing up to move low vibrational energy, those old stories, from their bodies and are rewriting themselves daily. You can be the master of your reality and cultivate who you are. I encourage you to be aware and say “I see that I want to be really successful, and I see that I have been getting in my own way, so now I am going to move this energy. I am going to do it. I am going to release every story that I have been carrying of myself not being good enough. I am going to let go of every single bullshit excuse I give myself because I am afraid of expansion. I am going to challenge that and I’m going to push myself, to expand myself to connect to a worthiness where my success feels inevitable because it feels like a direct mirror of how I feel about myself”. 

  The other thematic stop to focus on is your relationship with obstacles. For many of us obstacles represent defeat, failure, difficult challenge, struggle. Moments where the sales are not going well, or your audience is not growing fast enough, whatever the obstacle is, whether an emotional or a physical manifestation, is coming to you for a reason. It is a healing opportunity to really look at why is spirit giving me a client that is upset? Why are all these fears coming up for me right now, I thought I was through with this feeling? These are obstacles that prevent us from going where we want to go or feeling what we want to feel. These are not signs that you are not meant to be doing what you're doing, or that you should give up, or that you are not capable. These are opportunities for rewrites in your belief system. Every single time something is coming to you and it is hard and confusing, you can sit with that and feed into a low vibrational story that says “I am not meant for this, it is too hard” or you can say “This is coming to me as an opportunity to rewrite my belief system and I’m going to do it”. This is about creating intentional miracles for yourself. A miracle, in the greatest sense, is a shift in perspective, so in these moments we need to interpret those in the highest vibrational frequency, the frequency of love. 

  Love is in all things and it is our job to see that for ourselves. When we see it, we experience it, are aware of it, we attract it and focus on it and our life just beautifully flourishes. We need to learn how to see love in every obstacle we receive. Next time negative self-talk comes up, and you say “I thought I was done feeling like shit about myself, but she’s back again. I am so angry, I worked so hard on this and now I will have to do it all over again; I am just not good enough”, that is not the lesson of love. Maybe the lesson here is how can I actually learn to talk myself through this? How can I speak to myself like a mother would speak to their child, how can I be gentle and nourishing with myself and rebuild my confidence? What exercises or practices can I do to move this energy rather than waiting for it to be over? Learning to master your physical reality, for many of us, starts with learning how to master our emotional state and being aware of what steps we can take to help ourselves. Allow yourself to be super gentle, let go of that judgement and of being nasty to yourself, the self-bullying; when things are coming up that are hard allow yourself the opportunity to have a new perspective. 

  In this season of working on myself I have been experiencing this voice in my head that comes up a lot, like an asshole heckler telling me “you’re so stupid, you don’t know anything.” And it is comical, but it is annoying because I want to show up, and be in my heart and be in my openness and channel the message that needs to come through, the message starts to feel wonky because I'm so focused on getting the voice in my head to shut up. In the past when this has happened I shut down and feel disconnected from my business, I am feeling unworthy and like I’m bad at what i do and it hits me all at once and I disappear for a week. Now I can move that energy, I ask myself in that moment “What do I need in this moment”? We need to provide for ourselves before we can solve the problem. For me, I knew I had to call this particular friend, and she reminded me to give myself some grace, because what I am doing in this season is new, and I am learning, and I realized I am afraid to learn because it is hard and for me, associated with a grade so I need to rewrite my story on learning. I had to take a moment to realize I was putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect and reach certain goals. We need to do self evaluation, to see how the obstacle is presenting, does it relate to past trauma, something that needs to be rewritten; and we need to focus on providing ourselves with what we need. 





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