EP 242: Things I Learned Taking Two Years Off My Desire to Make Money

lauren of love podcast Oct 28, 2021

*This episode is in honor of a special deal we have running for the Soul Portal Membership. Be a part of the first 22 to join and get 20% off using the code MEMBERSHIP20! There's also another fun surprise you can check out on my Instagram @laurenoflove!*


I took two years off from my business when I was hitting $700,000 a month. I left it all on the table because I needed to do my own healing.



Why do we want to heal? We want a happier life, to feel good, to be whole and complete, embodied, abundant. Sometimes we create these superficial expectations that we believe will get us there. We think we will be healed by making a lot of money and being successful, or losing x amount of pounds. But what we are missing is that the way to these achievements is within and taking pause to look at what we are carrying and the blocks that are in our way. The doorway to perceiving is within you through your healing.


Abundance is our birthright. The ability to be successful is something we all have within us. During our human experience, the paths to success can become dysfunctional. This happens by having experiences that diminish our channel to receive by us not being able to process them. 


My healing journey started in 2014 on Cathedral Rock. I took that experience home with me and I realized I wasn’t living the life I truly wanted to live. I began to ask myself, “What would the life that I really want to live look like?” I had thus new awareness that I could create anything I wanted. When you’re birthing something into the world it is a very spiritual process. It is going to bring up wounds, sorties and shadows. It’s there to challenge you and show you what’s going on. For many of us, we can often have signs of depression or dysfunction in the body because that person or soul is not tending to themselves, they are experiencing an awakening, waking us up to lack of boundaries, and the shadows and ego that need to be tended to.


This overwhelm can knock us out. For me, in 2018 I was at what I feel was the peak of my career. I had a team, we were traveling doing amazing work but, I wasn’t living a lifestyle that felt in alignment. I was obsessed with money, goals, and pushing myself. There was so much stress and dysfunction in communication. I didn’t feel heard and I wasn’t fulfilled with what I was building. We have these experiences where we get what we want, but it doesn’t bring that happiness we thought it would. This is the Universe telling us to stop looking outside of ourselves for our happiness. I would reach a goal and feel like, “Ugh. Well maybe it’s the next goal will be enough.” I realized that this kept repeating and this feeling of unworthiness was following me and affecting everything. I wasn’t making time for myself or giving myself the space to do deeper work. I was ignoring what was happening within and only focusing on healing my relationship with money instead of looking into the other trauma based energies showing up in my life.


My feelings of not being good enough affected everything in my business. The pictures I too, the emails I sent, the programs I ran, everything. There was this voice telling me all of these negative things. The whole time I was just telling myself if I just made a lot of money, I would feel good about myself. 


There’s a powerful narrative that there is always something beyond you that knows what is happening. Everything is on purpose and good things are coming to you, but you need to surrender to that. We play out this fear that we won’t get there. When I got the message that I was meant to work more with spirituality, I didn’t feel powerful enough. I felt unworthy and ignored those messages. I went through this huge understanding that I needed to heal myself. I was resisting my self-love, my confidence, my calling and this lead to my diagnosis of Lyme disease that disrupted my entire body. Manifesting chronic health issues is a sign that healing needs to be done. Not just physically, but energetically and spiritually as well. When we are open to healing all 3 of these pillars, the 3D starts to shift. We create our reality, “As within, so without”. We need to cultivate and empower from within. 






The time I took off quantum leaped me. I feel so blessed and centered and empowered. It took me years of avoiding myself and a short time of honoring myself to get here. 


Be gentle with yourself if you are taking a break and use that time wisely. Actually do the work and make the changes you need to love yourself for YOU. Not for the money, the likes, the programs. 


I want everybody to get to where you live life for yourself and your happiness. I had to get to the belief of knowing I was supported, I deserved time for myself, and that who I was is so beyond the milestones and numbers I hit. Those things don’t matter.


I changed my health, my relationships with so many people in my life, with money… SO much change. A lot of us get lost along the way, but this work can be done in a cultivated way. You don’t have to do what I did, but you have to have a study, be disciplined, and show up for yourself. Get into a practice of prayer and connecting with spirituality to get the answers you need. 


So, your study… Still set your goals and cross things off of your list, but don’t let that define you. Set goals to g through healing, and deepening your relationship with yourself. Step into that because that’s where the answers are. 



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